Reading with Kaye

“Dance like everyone’s watching. Because they are”

Until We Break + Interview with YA Author Matthew Dawkins

Helloooo beautiful people, and welcome back to Reading with Kaye. If you’re new here, this is where I talk about the books I love while helping you diversify your bookshelf, one recommendation at a time.

This year, while brainstorming different ways to keep things interesting for you, I thought of ways I could include the student body.

And what better way to kick things off than with our very own Matthew Dawkins: a fourth-year student at Western, who is also the author of the YA novel, Until We Break.

The story hones in on the protagonist Naomi Morgan, the only Black student at her ballet academy. Her goal? To win the Youth American Grand Prix – the country’s most distinguished dance competition. Winning this comes with many sacrifices, but the reward – access to a spot in a top ballet school, which would inevitably lead to a place with The New York City Ballet – was more than worth it. However, when Naomi’s instructor assigns her Odette’s variation from Swan Lake, Naomi is wracked with self-doubt. To make matters worse, she succumbs to an injury, causing her mental health to deteriorate at an accelerating rate and the need for answers outside her world.

Before finding its way onto bookstores’ shelves, Naomi’s story began on the online literature platform Wattpad, where users can read and/or write original stories. If you’ve been a reader for a long time (or, you know, don’t live under a rock), you most likely have found yourself on this site, scrolling for hours on end, impatiently waiting for your favourite author to post the next chapter of whatever book you were reading at the time. And after convincing him that he should get an iPad because it would change his life (more than publishing his debut novel, I suppose), we discussed the genesis of Until We Break.

Dawkins started writing what was then called Wicked, Wild, Wonderful in 2018, and we have a literature class back home in Jamaica and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s novel Purple Hibiscus to thank. In a moment in his life where he wanted to address some concerns he had in his personal life, he wanted to write something that talked about adolescence, what it meant to grow up and to become your own person. “I think that book [Purple Hibiscus], for me, set a great precedent because it showed me the different ways I could talk about those themes, especially as it relates to silence, family, doing what makes us happy versus doing what we think we’re expected to be doing.” Matthew explains. This comment was followed by a question he then asked himself, now that I know how these stories can be told, how do I want to start telling my story?

While he knew what this story meant a lot to him, he knew that Wattpad was a predominantly white platform, he was Caribbean, and his characters were too. He didn’t think anything would come of this and was more than ready to accept that fact. “That was completely fine with me, as long as I was doing what I loved.” But as he continued to post weekly, the views were increasing, as were the comments, and the story began to draw attention. Before the story was even finished, he won a Watty Award, which is Wattpad’s largest annual writing contest. He was later featured on the homepage of the site for Black History Month and developed a relationship with the company. Not long after finishing, he received the call from Wattpad, “Let’s do this.’”

 This led to a series of editing changes, now that he had the time to ensure his first published book demonstrated his growth, drawing inspiration from various Caribbean authors, such as James Barry, for storytelling and craft. A character in particular that he went back to flesh out more in the process was Saint, the street artist that shows Naomi that there is more to life than just dance, which Dawkins is excited for us to meet. “He has gained a much bigger space in my heart.”

When I asked him what three words he would use to describe this book, Matthew listed:

-       Meaningful (“I hope”)

-       Black (“with a capital ‘B’”)

-       Exemplary (“exemplary of a lot of experiences that people that look like us go through when we’re young”)

From editing for his fans on Wattpad in car rides with his family to now being a published YA author, the ride has been nothing short of a rollercoaster, and it still doesn’t feel real to Dawkins. Books being sold out in the bookstores, doing signings, conventions, I watched as he told me the series of events, and couldn’t help but notice the twinkle in his eyes, the image of awe personified, the poster of someone who still constantly pinches himself after realizing that his dream since he was 13, has just come true. “I always have to shout out my literature teachers because I may have not known that I would get here, but they always did.”

I asked my friend what message he wanted to convey and what he wanted readers to take from this book:

He explained to me that this book was about what it means to be young, discover who you are, and what it means to chase or not chase dreams. He continued to explain that “we are multiple things, all at once. But none of those things, individually, can define us. With that, I wanted to convey that at any point, we can change and evolve. Doing the things we love, and the way that we love, we should allow ourselves to do that.”

I met Matthew in our first year for Western’s student-led club, Ethnocultural Support Services’ Black History Month Campaign (view pic below). We met and got along quickly, and as young people do, we exchanged Instagram handles. It was soon after that I saw that he posted the wonderful news of his book getting published and watched him update us throughout the editing process. Through it all, I could not help but be excited and proud of him, despite how little we knew each other at the time. That’s what happens when there is representation. You can’t help but support one another and feel inspired. To know that it’s not unattainable, to know that it is possible for you as well. I cannot help but be inspired by my beautiful, wonderful, intelligent friend, Matthew Dawkins, and I hope you are too.

To annoy him, my last question was what he was up to now, and we are lucky enough to know that he is always working and things are currently in the works.

And personally, I will be sitting front row, patiently waiting to see what happens next.

Until we Break is available for loan at Brescia Library, the Bookstore at UCC, and our local bookstores.