An Editorial Conversation around Eating Disorder Awareness with Chloë Grande
Please note the topic of this article can be triggering for those with lived or living experiences relating to Eating Disorders or disordered eating. If you or someone you know is struggling with this, you can find resources at the end of this article. Do not hesitate to reach out to the Editor at bresciabuzz.editor@bucsc.ca for further support or information.
February 1st to 7th is Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW). As per the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC), every year, Canadian Eating Disorder (ED) groups come together to commemorate EDAW with a “national week of action focused on educating the public about Eating Disorders”. This site is a wonderful resource for those seeking information about Eating Disorders, help and resources, advocacy, and sharing your story.
However, for this article, I turned a little closer to home. I reached out to Chloë Grande (pronouns she/her), an Eating Disorder Recovery Speaker and Writer, for an interview regarding Eating Disorder awareness. Chloë completed her undergraduate degree at Queen’s University and her Master’s (MMJC’16) at Western. You can follow Chloë on Instagram at @chloshegrows and view her website at https://chloegrande.com/.
When I asked Chloë why she had started working in this field, she told me about her lived experience; “I felt like I had kept my eating disorder so secretive. There was so much shame and self-stigma that I felt I was doing not only myself a disservice, but other people with Eating Disorders a disservice, by not working in this field”. Like most working in advocacy, Chloë wanted to take the chance to “do something that can really impact a lot of people…There’s a lot of scary and frightening statistics, rightfully so, and it feels good to make a small, small impact in whatever way I can”. Recently, Chloë spoke at TEDxWesternU and has been a part of Sunday Ajak’s USC Presidential Candidate platform regarding potential Eating Disorder Sensitivity Training.
While this can be a sensitive topic for many, it is also a crucial topic, as Chloë pointed out that “ages 16 to 25 or around that threshold, is peak time for onset or relapse for Eating Disorders”. As the typical university student is within this threshold, it is crucial to bring this conversation to the table and fight to end the stigma attached to Eating Disorders and disordered eating.
As a seasoned Buzz Writer and Editor, I went back and forth on how to write this piece and bring it justice; what quotes should I pick? What angle do I want to take? I settled on the following format to keep the integrity of Chloë’s and my conversation and bring awareness to the wide array of topics we touched on. The remainder is an edited transcript of our interview.
Lauryn: I’ve seen on your Instagram account you do quite a bit of mental health advocacy and work. How do you think that relates to Eating Disorders or those struggling with their relationship with food?
Chloë: I don’t think Eating Disorders exist alone. I feel many times, people with Eating Disorders have co-occurring challenges with their mental health. Whether it is substance use disorders, underlying anxiety or depression, or in my case, social anxiety… sometimes the Eating Disorder may get missed because we’re focusing on other parts of someone’s health. But when dealing with someone with an Eating Disorder, it has to be a holistic approach. I think mental health is a way to softly talk about something we all have. Whereas Eating Disorders exist in this little area where it’s taboo, weird and freaky, but it’s actually really, really common.
Lauryn: Right, it’s still in that ‘shhh’ or ‘be quiet’ era.
Chloë: Absolutely, yeah. Anxiety, depression, okay, ‘cool’, but Eating Disorders? People get kind of “oh too much”. Or “just eat more”.
Lauryn: Oh, the amount of times I have heard that. I struggled with disordered eating in high school, and my mom kept bringing me to my doctor saying we need help, you know, and he was just like, “oh, she’s just skinny. She’s fine”. Well, no, you know it’s a little more than that; but I think that connects to so many other things, right, like, the patriarchy you can find in medicine and having a male doctor who would look at you for two seconds and then just say ‘oh, she’s just thin’ or ‘you’re fine’. Even the jokes of ‘be thankful’.
Chloë: ‘Be thankful’ you have one of the deadliest illnesses; yes, okay, thank you. Oh, that’s so problematic. And I find, too, I hear lots of stories where people’s mom swoop in, again this gender role where the mom becomes the advocate, the ones who are starting charities and non-profits, helping their children through an Eating Disorder. I feel like that also just plays into why they are not taken seriously - it’s considered a women’s issue.
Lauryn: I agree. Keeping our male-identifying readers in mind, do you think there is a difference in gender identification regarding the impacts of this topic?
Chloë: From what I have heard, for many men, it seems like it is 2, 3, 4 times as hard to get that diagnosis, to even be recognized as having an Eating Disorder. Because it’s built-in that men and boys don’t get them. They can present differently sometimes; sometimes, there is a focus on muscle or exercising, so it is seen more positively or rewarded. But it still falls under that spectrum of disordered eating. I try to make that clear in my presentations and say, “Hey, it’s not just anorexia and bulimia; over-exercising is a symptom of an Eating Disorder.” That can be super, super harmful and detrimental to your body. So, I think it’s really difficult if you don’t fit into that box of a young white female. There can be real barriers to treatment and challenges, for example, the older you get, or for trans folks, survivors or victims of sexual violence…it’s like there is no fragment of the population that isn’t affected.
Lauryn: Do you think there are groups of folks at more of a disadvantage than others?
Chloë: I always think back to an interview I did with Dr. Jill Andrew, who is a politician in Toronto, and she identifies as a Queer Black woman who has had her own experience with Eating Disorders, and it has looked so so different from mine, obviously. But, one thing that really stuck with me was that we were talking about the rights of diagnosis, and even if someone like her had the same symptoms as someone else, they are 50% less likely to be given that diagnosis by a clinician. We also know the longer an Eating Disorder exists, the more ingrained and worse and harder it is to treat. So, there is an automatic disadvantage right from the start.
I have also heard from people I follow on Instagram that “Black girls love to eat,” which is super harmful! Or women saying, “when my aunties come to visit, you know they are going to comment about my weight”. You may not be aware of cultural differences if you do not belong to that culture. I have noticed that some cultures are beginning to bring awareness; for example, South Korea has this amazing new campaign going online for their first Eating Disorder awareness week, which is huge! I have Korean and Chinese friends who say this is not something we talk about; we know it's there, but we just ignore it. If no one in your family, school, or community, or you’ve never heard anyone say they have an Eating Disorder, then it's much harder to identify with it, and you might not notice it.
Lauryn: I’m also curious about the Eating Disorder Harm Reduction topic I saw on your Instagram account, as I don’t know much about it; could you tell me more about that?
Chloë: Yeah, it’s a fairly new concept to me as well. I heard about it through the account called nalgonapositivitypride, and she’s someone with lived experience in the States. She’s created a course for clinicians, and people with lived or living experience. It sort of shifts the paradigm of how we view Eating Disorders as something where you have to be in a hospital for six months and then come out and magically recover. For some people, it will always be a part of them, and maybe there is a part of the Eating Disorder that is actually a protective mechanism.
Lauryn: Since Brescia is an all-women and female-identifying campus, do you have any comments on how women and young girls are socialized and how that connects with our relationships with food or Eating Disorders?
Chloë: Everything that we are taught, basically, is so focused on our bodies, on our appearances. I have realized that if you can get to a certain point in your life without an Eating Disorder, that is impressive. All the messaging, the diet culture that is everywhere, fatphobia, and weight stigma, all these things are so persistent. When you are in Eating Disorder recovery, you fight against what feels like mainstream messaging and ways of thinking. Even with media consumption, I worked with influencers at a PR agency, and you don’t know what you don’t know. I knew what was happening behind the scenes, but many people didn't. That happens with so many types of media consumption. So, just that awareness that what we see is fake, even if we know it is fake. So, how do we process that information and not personally identify with these false images being represented?
Lauryn: That’s a great point. You see those videos exposing ‘the truth’ of how you can pose to make your body look completely different. But even though you can be aware of those things, if you are constantly scrolling and seeing them, it still subconsciously impacts you.
Chloë: Definitely! I think Dove does this with some of their campaigns, where they say, ‘this image is not edited,’ or even the flip side, where they say it is highly edited - it doesn’t make a difference! You still see it, and you still feel bad.
Lauryn: Exactly, it is still in the back of your mind. Would you say there are telltale signs that someone may be struggling with an Eating Disorder?
Chloë: One thing that I try to emphasize is if you notice a change in mood. Speaking from my own experience, I started to isolate myself more because many social things revolved around food; I was just not going out with my friends a lot more. Especially in the winter too, which is something to be mindful of; if you are not feeding your body correctly, you will be very cold all the time. So, really subtle ways. I became really interested in cooking, which, you might think, is strange, but I wasn’t eating the food I was cooking; I was just feeding others. So, it can manifest in many ways, but I feel like the person just becomes almost unrecognizable. When my family talks about when I was sickest, I look back, and I am like…who was that person? It impacts the mood and energy levels, making it hard to function in day-to-day tasks and activities.
Lauryn: Yeah, I know myself; I had to quit all my sports teams because I was always active, and my body just couldn’t sustain it. I look back on that one year in high school when I had to quit everything, and that was tough because I needed that outlet at the same time, but I couldn’t continue with it.
Chloë: Totally, and that is another conversation in itself. Like, athletes and Eating Disorders. My gymnastics coach noticed the signs of my Eating Disorder when I was an athlete. But being pulled out of that community…that is where all my friends were! I was already isolated because I had an Eating Disorder, but now you have to quit what you enjoyed doing (laughs).
Lauryn: (laughs) Yep, it’s like, okay, great, now what. You’re stuck like ‘hope to rejoin soon’.
Chloë: Right! And building a healthy relationship with exercise is not something I was ever taught how to do. Sometimes I think there is a pathway where I notice people go from Eating Disorder recovery to being a fitness influencer, and I think, oh….careful. There is a lot of overlap, I see.
Lauryn: What tips would you give someone if they think a friend or loved one may be struggling with this?
Chloë: For a lot of people, myself included, it is hard to talk about an Eating Disorder. It is easy to talk around an Eating Disorder. Sometimes, people think if you don’t bring it up, then it doesn’t exist. But that has the opposite impact. You shouldn’t be afraid of an Eating Disorder. I think approaching it from a person-first perspective, not making comments on their body or food, so saying things like “I noticed you have been isolating yourself more” and “I’ve been reading up or learning about Eating Disorders more,” or “I heard someone talk about Eating Disorders” - use me! I don’t want to say I am an excuse, but I say that in my talks. It’s awkward to randomly bring up, “hey, I think you have an Eating Disorder,” but if you can blame it on something, it sort of can be more of a segue. Even if you see a post on Instagram or something, that can be a better approach - to send someone a post or text message and see if they have the space to check in. Sometimes people with Eating Disorders will feel like they are being attacked and everyone is ganging up on them, so a softer approach and showing genuine concern for your friend or loved one is essential. Knowing, too, you might need support yourself; it can be tough supporting someone who doesn’t realize they’re sick.
Lauryn: For those struggling with their relationship with food or an Eating Disorder, what words of encouragement or advice would you want to give them?
Chloë: I emphasize so much the difficulty in talking about it, so that is why my suggestion would similarly be taking a comfortable, softer approach, where if you need to text someone beforehand, saying, “something is on my mind, I was wondering if you had the time to talk to me about something” or “I’m a little bit concerned about this aspect of my health”. You don’t even have to use the words Eating Disorder, right? You can say body/food/whatever feels most comfortable to you. One thing that has been really really helpful in my own recovery was finding groups. Now we have virtual groups, such as through Eating Disorders Nova Scotia, which is free. You can join these groups, you don’t need a diagnosis, and being in that community where other people may not be going through the same thing, but they can understand it, and you know that you are not alone is the biggest thing. An Eating Disorder takes away everything, and you generally feel like you have nothing left, so finding that will to live again and that spark for life is so important.
Lauryn: Our readership is predominantly university students, so is there anything else you would like to add, share, or get across to this demographic?
Chloë: It is tough going through all these transitions all at once! I want to validate and acknowledge that it makes sense why you might have challenges with food or body; you are not alone in that, by no means. It is okay to not know what the next steps are. For me, I questioned a lot of my identity, whether not knowing where certain relationships were going or not knowing what I wanted to study for grad school, so I would take that out on myself and punish my body. So, just that recognition that you ultimately live with yourself, so it is important to be friendly and compassionate with yourself as you can be, in whatever way that looks like. And building self-compassion and self-care, and really looking out for yourself because, at the end of the day, no one else will.
After my talk with Chloë, I asked her for a list of any resources or supports she would recommend, which are listed below:
The online self-diagnosis tool off of Body Brave
a. Body Brave is a non-profit that helps people with Eating Disorders or disordered eating (again, no diagnosis required) with different levels of tiered support. They recognize that maybe you feel bad about your body and don’t know what is going on, so you can listen to a webinar, but there are also those higher tiers where you can go through an intake and speak to a dietician or clinician and get virtual support, which again is free
In London, London Health Sciences has the Adult Eating Disorder Program
Another recommendation Chloë made was to find and follow social media accounts of anti-diet dieticians or people whose bodies don’t look like your body so you see a bit of diversity and differences. Again, you can follow Chloë on Instagram at @chloshegrows and view her website at https://chloegrande.com/.
As someone who has struggled with disordered eating, I know how hard it can be to reach out to your friends and family for help. You can feel alone, scared, angry, and sad, among other things, all of which are valid. That being said, you are loved, and as cliche as it may sound, you are not alone. The goal of this article is to help open the conversation about Eating Disorders at Brescia University College, and I hope we can continue this conversation to work towards ending the stigma.
Lots of love,
Lauryn